


Day 3: Help Me Out Here

by eating_custardinbed



Series: Pride Month: IT Crowd style [3]
Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Jen is so done, M/M, Realisation, Short, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Talking, drunk roy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eating_custardinbed/pseuds/eating_custardinbed
Summary: Jen offers Roy some advice on the situation with Moss
Relationships: Jen Barber & Roy Trenneman, Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman
Series: Pride Month: IT Crowd style [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780783
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	Day 3: Help Me Out Here

**Author's Note:**

> Day Three!! We're back baby! Hope you enjoy this little nugget with cute drunken Roy lmao
> 
> Today’s prompt: “Are you drunk?”

_“Are you drunk?”_

Jen had only come back into the office because she’d left her scarf. Normally, she’d have just left it and picked it up the next day, but it was the scarf that Nigel (her current fling) had bought her for her birthday and she’d promised him she’d wear it to dinner with him. She’d walked into the office, expecting it to empty as it was nearly seven, only to find Roy collapsed on the sofa, crying and drinking straight out of a nearly-empty bottle of vodka. So, of course, she asked the first stupid question that came to her mind. 

Roy jumped, turning to look at her. He looked awful, his eyes all red and puffy, and his cheeks stained with tear tracks. 

“A bit, yeah,” he managed to say before he started blubbering again. Jen sighed, getting her phone out and texting Nigel to tell him she probably wasn’t going to be able to make dinner tonight before coming around and sitting down next to Roy (after moving two crumply-looking bags of crisps). Gently, she reached over and extracted the bottle of vodka from his grip. She debated drinking some but decided that she had to set a good example and set it to the side. 

“What’s going on?” she said as soothingly as she could. “Is it because you broke up with that girl?” 

“No, she turned out to be horrible anyway so I’m glad I got rid of her,” Roy replied. His words were starting to slur together a little. “It’s _Moss_.” 

“What about him?” she asked. 

“We kissed,” he said miserably. “Again. For like the fifteenth time or summat stupid, and now I can’t get him out of my bloody head!” 

Well. She hadn’t been expecting _that_. 

“But you’re not--” she started confusedly. Roy groaned loudly, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. 

“I’m not gay, I know!” he said. “I just... this is really weird, Jen! Help me out here!” 

“Right, well, first things first,” Jen said, shifting to face him fully and to get a little more comfortable. If she was going to help out here, she could at least get some juicy gossip out of Drunk Roy. “How many times have you kissed, exactly?” 

Roy paused, scrunching his face up as he thought. He reached forward for the bottle, but Jen sternly slapped his hand away. He glared at her, then glanced down at his shoes. 

“Four,” he said quietly. 

“When?” 

“Once in Amsterdam, twice outside the gas works, then once last night.” Roy groaned again, letting his head fall back onto the sofa. He giggled, shrugging. “I sh-h-h-h-ould just go tell him. Tell him how I wanna shove him up against a wall and--” 

“Let’s not do that!” Jen shouted over him, grimacing. As happy as she was that the two of them were finally getting their heads out of their backsides, she didn’t exactly want to hear about what they were going to do to each other, thank you very much. Roy gave her a strange look and she paused, smiling at him. “No, you want to do this carefully! This is Moss, not some bimbo you’ve found at the pub.” 

“Yeah, yeah, y’re right,” Roy murmured. All of a sudden he had a very serious look on his face, as if he was concentrating very hard on something. _Come to think of it,_ Jen thought, _he’s probably trying not to fall asleep._ “Gotta be careful.”

“Right!” she said, smiling at him enthusiastically. “Who kissed who?” 

“Me the first time, but after that him,” he replied. “Always him.” 

“And you’re not together because?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. When he gave her a blank look, she couldn’t help but burst out laughing. 

“It’s not funny, Jen!” he yelled, attempting to sit up but falling back into the sofa. 

“Oh, it is a little bit!” she said, smiling at him. “You two have been dancing around each other the whole time I’ve been here, and probably some time before that. Do you not remember what he was like when Julia bought you that jacket?” 

“I thought that was just because he doesn’t like change!” Roy protested. 

“He has a ma-hoo-ssive crush on you!” she exclaimed. That piqued his attention and he sat up properly then, fixing her with a deer-in-headlights look. 

“I have to go ‘round there,” he whispered. “Right now. I have to tell him how I feel.” 

He stumbled into an upright position, standing there on unsteady legs for a moment as he looked around the office in confusion. He made to move towards the door. 

“No, no, no,” Jen said, standing up and pulling him back down onto the sofa. “What you need to do is go home and sleep this off.” 

“Good,” Roy slurred. “M’be I’ll choke on my own vomit and I won’t have t’ deal with this.” 

“Okay, I’m coming home with you,” she said. Getting up from the sofa, she pulled him up and threw his arm around her shoulders. He was surprisingly heavy for a skinny guy. He smiled at her in a way that could only be described as drunkenly. 

“You’re one of the good ones, Jen,” he mumbled. She couldn’t help but smile at him for that. Not that that smile lasted long once she realised she’d just signed herself up for babysitting a drunken, lovesick toddler. 

Ah well. Love conquers all, as they say.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! If you enjoyed, please drop a kudos, and if you have any suggestions/requests for this series please feel free to drop me a comment!! Love you all!!
> 
> Stay safe and happy, y'all xx <3


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